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Fred Beukema @beukema Minneapolis, MN

Struct Eng, Improv, husband/dad. || You may think that you crave true love, but it is not a game for cowards. Neither is Scrabble. - Onion horoscopes

182 Following   315 Followers   2,736 Tweets

Join Twitter 5/3/09

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@TheMarySue Of course there are no straight pieces. Never a straight piece when you need one.@thatlevi Yeah, we still haven't even tried it. We do dig the indoor St. Paul muni pool, though.@thatlevi Richfield, or one of the neighborhood wading pools?@MyLittleBloggie The extent to which KARE news is about themselves really irritates me. That it's local ratings gold irritates me more.
7/24
2014
"I'm a man who loves glamour. Fresh glamour... fresh off the truck." -@kidbristol, #ShowX #mnimprov
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaGoogle has a very courteous message to say stop typing DOCS when you mean DRIVE but they don't understand I still say Dayton's.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@kumailn @richsommer Doesn't hurt to hate True Detective, just in case."By 'paranormal activity,' you mean like the regular stuff seeds do when they sprout, right?" -X-Files title designer
7/23
2014
Memo just sent to DC office from @ryangrim http://t.co/TxktWCJ0Lb
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaWe’re growing! Lue Yang packs up as TKDA begins a renovation-expansion project at its headquarters in St. Paul. http://t.co/RxlBvnYrMC
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI want you to know, no matter what Mark Twain wrote about us, those other bitches didn't mean anything. @ShowXImprov #MNimprov @hugetheater
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
7/22
2014
Tonight's our last Show X before we morph into a Minnesota Fringe venue! 8pm, just $5 for top-notch #MNimprov. http://t.co/Lm5RFsr27U
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaPlaying @ShowXImprov fresh off the plane from SeaTac tonight. Come check it out!"I'm not a feminist because I don't understand what feminism actually means and can't be bothered to find out." #WomenAgainstFeminism
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaTomorrow is the last @ShowXImprov before @mnfringe gets buck wild up in @hugetheater. Check. It. Out. 8pm on Monday for only $5!
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@mikefotis Was it the dick joke scene?
7/21
2014
@stoatno1 ya done fucked up, A-A-Ron.
7/20
2014
Anyways. http://t.co/JMDzn8eLJi
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
7/18
2014
Alternative headline: “City of Minneapolis successfully internalizes externalities, protects taxpayers” #bragmpls http://t.co/ZkZKhEsQyZ
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
7/17
2014
@JoshDCarson I will be very curious to hear what you thought of it.
7/16
2014
@kumailn can't tell if doing a bit or not...
7/14
2014
The boys are back in town @iamgreenfield @kumailn @richsommer http://t.co/RSFLoIoYOZ
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
7/13
2014
The end of Blair Witch is less scary now because it just seems like the guy in the corner is checking his phone.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@benfowlkesMMA Horrifying, but I didn't get mad until I realized they added the extra -E-O to the end of every EIEIO. That's a step too far.
7/12
2014
@dbrauer @RealGM I thought they don't have a first-rounder to give for a few years.At some point, you just have to start rooting for the water. http://t.co/NwZrZ9bTWb
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@Spenluke @filmspotting @kumailn Awesome. My worlds collide.@dbrauer @MyLittleBloggie I can get the info to put you in touch if you want.@dbrauer @MyLittleBloggie My parents' (SW Mpls) neighbor paid for rain gardens in every lawn on their block as anniversary gift to all.
7/11
2014
President of University of Minnesota system got a raise and now makes almost $700k. Universities are not corporations. That's disgusting.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
7/10
2014
@thegynomite I have on occasion unplugged my computer's ethernet cable to achieve this effect.
7/9
2014
A knock knock joke, courtesy of the three year old. "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Remy." "Remy who?" "There's a banana on your head."
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaFound in my parents' basement. @filmspotting, I'd forgotten I had a hard copy of this! http://t.co/Yb3CAQWB4T@Hellendrung @DanHappyFunTime Please note: you should verify before watching that it's not dubbed. Last time I tried it on Netflix, is was.@kumailn Totally underrated movie. There are days I think we and @litwille were the only ones who liked it.@Hellendrung Ah, jeez. Sorry, Tim. Did they take anything?
7/8
2014
Tonight @ShowXimprov Armando Series continues with Guest Storyteller @btktwin of @963KTWIN showtime 8pm-just $5 #MNimprov
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@fivemanjob boom boom boom.@dbrauer It looks like you have some takers already, but if those fall through, please let me know.a Pew study recently found that PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
7/7
2014
@IndoorKids: @TopScorePodcast
7/6
2014
I interviewed Mark Snow, dude who wrote The X-Files theme, earlier today & I couldn't sleep the night before & then almost cried. I mean...
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaIt is time for National Explode a Cat Day again. If they find you, they WILL explode you! Use the buddy system! Hide under any bed you find!
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
7/4
2014
@fivemanjob Nice to have some good news today, Butch, thanks.So much of the conversation about birth control assumes it is some accessory for dizzy dames, rather than a service to men AND women.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaSome corporations just want to be closely held.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaAlito writes both SC rulings today... Once again, the Rehnquist court's '00 awarding of presidency to GWB pays big conservative dividends.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaWe know this is a corporatist court. We know this is a corporatist court. We know this is a corporatist court. We know this is a corporati
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaNew job interview question for women: So, are you going to pay for my emergency contraception?
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaTenterhooks. #SCOTUS
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
6/30
2014
Damn, Bobby Womack. https://t.co/IEIbHi1MRS“Regarding MULHOLLAND DRIVE...” A special request from David Lynch, friend to projectionists: http://t.co/Ysnsstr0m1
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@kumailn I think you’ll be ok.
6/28
2014
That awkward moment when the Supreme Court rules against a 35 ft buffer zone for women, but keeps the 300 ft buffer zone around themselves.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
6/27
2014
@ClackyJ @mikefotis True Detective theme music. #trudetectiveseason2Correct. RT @MPRpolitics: The President has ordered a Jucy Lucy at Matt's Bar in Minneapolis. http://t.co/qjBvxsurYq
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@tanehisicoates I remember liking MC Solaar in my days as un étudiant.Just to be clear, the Supreme Court has a very active ban against demonstrators on its own grounds. http://t.co/kwbeKmjaUy
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6/26
2014
@richsommer Very possible I was missing something. May have to rewatch... Thanks for the reply!@richsommer After Bert's death, with Harry transitioning to partner, other partners seemed to be taking it as a given he'd vote to kick Don.@richsommer Finally finished MM s7a (SPOILER). Great 1/2 season. Confused: why would Harry be expected to vote against Don?@johnmoe Counteroffer: name it Fozzie
6/25
2014
.@luis16suarez good game
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaHad no idea that the band name Eve 6 was an X-Files reference. .@XFilesFiles Also: Harriet Harris is awesome.Guy on a bike & cellphone w/ unlit cigarette in your mouth: everything you’re doing is preventing you from doing everything you’re doing.Will Forte is NOT in the new Planet of the Apes. Jason Clarke just kind of looks like him.@RobinKimball Which one?
6/24
2014
@XFilesFiles Jose ChungI don’t always hang out with @kumailn and [dolph], but when I do, we close down Lyle’s. http://t.co/Sj9CNtt9aTDance the blues away, dessert 4 lunch, & buy a donkey you like. SO much wisdom at this #wits.
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6/21
2014
Now I will be unstoppable. http://t.co/TFU5pCw9Gk
6/20
2014
@MyLittleBloggie Fun fact! The number is the same for a Honda Odyssey!@MyLittleBloggie "cube" was imprecise. "Rectangular box" is better.@MyLittleBloggie Idealizing the SmartCar as a cube and using its curb weight, a bit more than 7.5".@MissMariapants @rabidlime - Your messages aren't secret if you publish the one-time pad.@marcmaron @louisck I hope that each of your shows' fictional universes include the other's show but not your own. #fearfulsymmetryChicago! You were awesome! Minneapolis tonight. @millcitynights. 9 pm. Be there.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@tvoti Has the AVClub world noted that the Fargo finale ended with the actual Carter Burwell score from the film instead of the soundalike?Fargo! So good, y'all. So unexpected.
6/19
2014
@hugetheater Also the days that Rogue Leader demonstrates hourly how to trip an AT-AT with harpoon and tow cable.@fivemanjob Yick. I can’t imagine why that kickstarter failed.
6/18
2014
What’s the point of Atomic coming on the radio if you’re stuck in a traffic jam?Even in a crowded, noisy space, the bass line from Ramble On shines through.@MrJakeScott @jillybee72 @kidbristol @BryceKalal - Awesome. As soon as I saw this quote, I thought of the game.
6/17
2014
@sarahaswell I was shocked it didn’t match the third book’s epilogue.Whaddaya know? Bran found Carcosa.@braillewhale Gorilla Grodd plays for France.
6/16
2014
@KlairHans @MetroTransitMN @Metrotransprobs they are. Those are tear away zip ties. Indicate whether the things have been pulled or not.@jtfarnsworth @MetroTransitMN @Metrotransprobs in a word, yes.
6/15
2014
@beukema - Please note! I am a PE (Civil) in MN only and have been since 2010. From 2004-2009 I was a Civil EIT here. Not an SE anywhwere.As of tomorrow, I have been a practicing structural engineer for a decade. Nothing's fallen down... yet.@mnfringe Wobbles lives!@kumailn What TIIIIIIIME is it? https://t.co/fExK9fNMtj@kumailn It's sitting like people!.@midwestspitfire thinks we need a masculine "His Girl Friday" equivalent. She suggests "Her Guy Smiley." I concur.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThe only thing that matters to me today: the 1986 synth remix of the Game of Thrones theme song http://t.co/apq40TSfTU
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
6/13
2014
@kappelhoff Minneapolis Washburn may still be looking to fill a position. Worth checking out, for sure.@kappelhoff What's your license?#tbt .@litwille .@kumailn .@beukema Winter '98. (Really looking forward to .@Wits next week, y'all.) http://t.co/Y4X6vpvCLk
6/12
2014
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