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Empire's News Editor, Film 2013 co-(co-co-co)-bloke, host of The Empire Podcast and executor of Videblogisode Man's estate.

581 Following   16,989 Followers   34,788 Tweets

Join Twitter 2/11/09

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Jim Henson constantly pulled his ham string.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@I_am_IanStephen Isn't it?Here's an interesting fact: eight out of ten people forget to include an interesting fact after saying 'here's an interesting fact'.@dan_copley Whose idea was that? Who thought...? The mind fair boggles.YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT UP. #littlejohn #ohanrahahanrahanAstonishing bit of Day Today-style split-screen wankery on the BBC just now. To cap it off, check out the n... https://t.co/xqjIUYtCSZA family of ducks walks into a church. "Hi, yes, umm...I hear you have a man who turned his body into bread?" The father asks timidly.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt
4/24
2014
@NickdeSemlyen Ha!@NickdeSemlyen SEXY NEIGHBOUR COME HOME TO NEIGHBOUR. #notweird #shutupMore reasons why Twitter is marvellous @Alancumming @exitthelemming @AdrianLester @michaelamaloney #Hamlets http://t.co/GbExSI0vlI
Retweeted by Chris HewittJamie Redknapp's inability to correctly pronounce 'Benzema' is almost heroic.@mrnickharvey @michaelhogan Yup.@michaelhogan @mrnickharvey Nah.@LukeWhiston Are you kidding? Secret Escapes woman is a GODDESS.Liverpool FC reveal vision for proposed stadium expansion - http://t.co/lYM5DZC6Fa http://t.co/PUoBahnqFw
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@stumpy_juk @PhildeSemlyen @NickdeSemlyen @HelenLOHara @empiremagazine Thanks!@JNRaeside @laurenlaverne Into your soul, it seems.@olly_richards I don't think it did. I mean, I added some stuff I made up, about the dinosaurs singing, but don't think I cut anything out.@Iron_Man @AgentM Boom!This has been stationed on my desk as a constant reminder not to eat biscuits and chocolate. It's just staring at me. http://t.co/vkuxGugV7f@AgentM 19? Wow. Make mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine Marvel.@AgentM Good God. I run two and sometimes I feel like we're going a little mad. Isn't that SHUT UP ARGHYES! STAR WARS IS BACK! http://t.co/l2jNRsDR4s@JNRaeside Yep, has to be a Friends box set. Or Comedy Central, as it's otherwise known.@nickafchain Xbox One.@ta_ammy Thanks! That's certainly the plan. They'll have to prise the microphones out of our cold dead hands. Or change the locks.@leehardcastle Star Wars. Totally Star Wars.@nickafchain Excellent news. No need to apologise - 'twas I who was shirty.@nickafchain Fair enough. Thanks for the constructive feedback.@nickafchain No, that's not the same tweet.@nickafchain Firstly, I shall do what I please. Secondly, that's not a recycled tweet.@itsme_noah @mrnickharvey @john_self Something about layers because onions have layers and it sounds like 'lay her' which is a sex thing.@ChrisHewitt There's also Ropping and Eeahonmymind
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@Jaks2105 He had his shot. Blew it.@mrnickharvey Your, um, your wife, erm, can make, er, fire come out of her, umm...?@MrBenPeyton Fuck him.@1tonpayton YES!!!!My favourite Georges: Clooney, Lucas, Washington, Alagiah, Takei, Harrison, Andmildred.I'm dressing up as a dragon and flying over to Ireland to drink lager for St George's day.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@NickMotown I'd high-five you but, you know... #British@NickMotown How about the shake of the head? Did you catch that? I don't want to overplay it. I'm worried I overplayed it.@nevpierce Our ability to read the calendar and quickly make hilarious and topical jokes is virtually unparalleled.@NickMotown I'm in the same queue, four places behind. Get a move on. But in your own time. Sorry.@gary_oh15 Paddy did the right thing. Snakes can go hang.Something tells me it's #StGeorgesDay... http://t.co/lKmVFoUClESt. George's Day! When the greatest saint of them all rose up and slew the dragon with his mighty wobbly head and bitchin' Nespresso skillz.@nevpierce Better than Great British Menu? I think not!
4/23
2014
Mumblers think they are acting and believe themselves above writers. They are not and they are not.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@SimonNRicketts @jackseale Last time I tried to install an update, it turned my phone into a brick. Been resisting ever since. But ok...@SummerRay You had to punch her to the floor and wrestle it out of her hands and we both know it.Don't understand why goalkeepers "make themselves big" to oncoming strikers. How will an erection help? #championsleague
Retweeted by Chris HewittIllegible bachelor http://t.co/hzFFZ5CSV4
Retweeted by Chris HewittThanks to everyone who came to the Apple #MeetTheAuthor talk with @edcatmull. Fascinating stuff, fascinating guy. Hope you all enjoyed.@kirstywallace @edcatmull Thanks! Glad you enjoyed.@kerihw Aha! Marty McFly is closer to Doc Brown's age than Doc Brown was when the DeLorean was... no, it's gone again.@NickdeSemlyen @The_Shiznit Or a deeply arousing one. I want my face on EVERYTHING.@kerihw No, wait, I've got it. No, it's gone. #shit@The_Shiznit @HelenLOHara @katbrown82 I've no idea what you're talking about, but can I just point out that I'm fucking awesome? Thanks.This guy is so #Hydra #NoRelationWhatsoever http://t.co/1yw8rmzM0l
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@grandetoro1949 Ah, bless you. Thanks for playing.Apropos of nothing, here's a thing I wrote for the site about people getting fired in Moyesies. Sorry, movies! Damn. http://t.co/nTUBj88Db4A reminder of my Apple Store Q&A with Pixar/Disney chief @EdCatmull at 6.30pm. Come along if you can! http://t.co/N43JLDLtb9@DanielaPhillips It's not a pub quiz format, sadly. More of a panel show thing.@DanielaPhillips @SundancefestUK Then do it! It's free!@NickdeSemlyen Respect to PJ.@NickdeSemlyen Peter Jackson has a replica Nick de Semlyen in his house? Why?if you're at @SundanceFestUK on Sunday, come along to the film quiz I'm hosting at 3.30. Laughs! Trivia! Spot prizes! http://t.co/0PHhBEMyNQThis will blow your mind: Michael J. Fox is now the same age as he was when Marty McFly went back to the future in... no, that can't be it.@Lazbotron That's about the size of it.I'm just sad that the #MoyesOut campaign succeeded before we got to the #MoyesIn and #MoyesInOutShakeItAllAbout phases.@simonpegg How can you be so indifferent, and yet Shaun is famous for wielding a football bat!@Millertime1976 I'd have given him the full six, and then extended. FOREVER.I need to, like, get dressed and go to work, but Twitter's being very funny about David Moyes, so... *calls in sick*To commemorative the reign of David Moyes, I will henceforth use his initials to refer to the system of private messaging on twitter.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@kerihw There's got to be at least two of him. Because he gets around a bit, if you know what I mean. You see, he has a lot of sex. What I mDon't be the guy following Mr Ferguson, be the guy fixing Moyes' mess. That might have been Utd's plan, but they didn't expect *this* mess.@CinemaTronix Launching a petition to get him his job back.@kerihw Why is it Moyes, and not Moye? There's only one of him, as far as I can tell.It's official - Moyes has been sacked by United. This is a sad day. He still had so much good work left to do.@peterwilliams78 Monday is now dancing around with its tadger tucked between its legs. It's very disturbing."Oh no, I'm definitely Tuesday," said Monday in a guttural voice. "Champions League, yay?" Monday must be stopped before it's too late.Monday is such an utter bastard that it's killed Tuesday and is now wearing its skin.@JamieDMJ @SummerRay @MatthewKick Ha! That's awesome. *steals it*@SummerRay Yeah, hate when that happens. Few months ago, found a guy whose entire feed was mine and Empire's tweets. He closed his account..@MatthewKick steals people's tweets and then tweets them to celebrities so that he gets the credit. BLOCK HIM @twitter !
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@JamieDMJ @SummerRay @MatthewKick What a massive bell. Still, I can't help feeling insulted that he hasn't stolen any of mine. *harumphs*There is nothing more annoying than two people talking while you’re trying to interrupt.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt
4/22
2014
Adore, starring Naomi Watts, has a weird writing credit. The writer did the screenplay AND the dialogue. What a swot. http://t.co/liOifvjapM
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@jrlarsen It is. Intriguing mix of Pixar info and business jargon.There will be questions about Pixar and stuff, but mainly I'll be playing Married Life from Up, grabbing Mr Catmull and crying my eyes out.A reminder that I'm interviewing Pixar/Disney big cheese Ed Catmull tomorrow at Regent St Apple Store. Reserve here! http://t.co/N43JLDLtb9@d_kirkbride1 @NickdeSemlyen Sorry, pal. You don't have the Chuckle magic.@ActingAnEejit And I am yours. #friendsforever http://t.co/Xvh27bJf2e@d_kirkbride1 @NickdeSemlyen The 'tache is a deal breaker. Sorry.I think Ronan Keating's biographer said it best when he said "He said it best when he said "You say it best when you say nothing at all.""
Retweeted by Chris HewittIf you read the books, Watson never actually says "No shit Sherlock".
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@simon_lindsell Mash-up. Total mash-up.@RichardYallop And then he laughs at her in the manner of a serial killer. I'd kick him out, run him over and then reverse over the twat.Jesus, Marie! http://t.co/IHtUdppT7G
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt"Forgive him, he's an idiot." Not bloody likely. I'd kick that Ford Fiesta ad text apology fucker out of the car while it's still moving.
4/21
2014
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