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News Editor (whatever that is) at @empiremagazine, host of the Empire Podcast, and all-round Q&A-hole. It's ok. I wouldn't follow me either.

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Joined Twitter 2/11/09

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Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@Okeating Harsh. Fair. Depressing. Fuck.@gfarnan And I feel your pain.@gfarnan There will be.@nickmurftweets Can aside, not one of our signings this summer has been a success. We desperately need a good summer in the market.@nickmurftweets I love Brendan still, but Stevie is a huge blind spot for him. It's almost as if he's so overawed he can't criticise him.@nickmurftweets We need a fair amount of surgery. Not good enough in all areas. It was painful watching Stevie try to roll back the clock.@nickmurftweets It's the thought that counts.@joeutichi Wector wector!@DeathByJigsaws Sorted, thanks!@DeathByJigsaws Aha! Yes. Something I change through the app?@EndhooS Da. Da.Watching episode four of Daredevil on Xbox One Netflix. Subtitles aren't working for the Russian brothers' dialogue - any ideas?"Chewie, we're in a home" http://t.co/xnAYlC3lcH
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@MittenDAmour God wanted you to find that. You're welcome.@nickmurftweets I should have mentioned that the win was for Aston Villa. It's all I could get.@nickmurftweets Happy birthday, Nick. I got you a semi-final win as a gift. Hope you like it.@marcbernardin Not to mention the Inhumans, and all those Stan Lee cameos. I think they'll manage it, but that's one hell of a task.@jamesrocchi Apologies for the quality of that photo. The one I have on my nightstand wouldn't scan properly.@jamesrocchi "I want this car." http://t.co/XHJHISF3CkI mean, why wouldn't you call it 'Starwars'? Why wouldn't you think it's just a single word? It's not like it's been around for 38 YEARS.@BeardedGenius http://t.co/nhkIbnarQnJust saw someone on Facebook repeatedly refer to Star Wars as 'Starwars', and it's ok, I'm totally cool with that. http://t.co/HVeealRls0@BeardedGenius Falcao? Phallic ow, more like, amirite? *high-fives everything*
@Loki_Lego @FolaSalako Did he swear blind that he hadn't told anyone?@ndmckeown @FolaSalako I haven't got past episode 3 so far...@popkewitz @HelenLOHara Ha! Very good. I'd like a mid-budget Natasha film, but looks like Marvel won't go there just yet.Now back to my #Daredevil marathon. In an unexpected twist I'm starting from the beginning again so @FolaSalako can see. Still on episode 2!Dead Sheep @ParkTheatre was dead good, and had proper acting and that. I'm available for any theatre reviewing gigs that may come up.@trouteyes @john_self Some say they've seen him, running through people's timelines while dressed as Robin. Who knows? It's Lyndhurst.@trouteyes @john_self If Lyndhurst were ever to unfollow you, this nation would soon fall.@olly_richards @McKelvie @john_self I'm tenacious. It's my best quality, along with modesty.@McKelvie @john_self I'm just waiting for your good tweet, Jamie. I know you have it in you and I want to be there when it happens.@danowen79 @john_self Super Hans remains very super.@john_self At which point they almost invariably unfollow. Pretty sure I lost Minnie Driver ages ago. Sometimes I light a candle for her.@john_self Truth be told, a famous follower always throws me temporarily, until I forget they follow me and start tweeting knob jokes again.@john_self I don't check if people still follow me now. I'm always amazed that anyone stays the course with my inane nonsense.@john_self Tim Burgess from The Charlatans. Mutual unfollow. Then I met him briefly at the BBC. Very civil, but we both *knew*.Let’s have your famous unfollowers. Caitlin Moran followed me for about a day when someone put us in the same #ff list.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@UpturnedBathtub That obvious, huh?I'm assured there's at least one Avenger in it.Right, off to @ParkTheatre to see Steve Nallon play Thatcher one more time in Dead Sheep. Bit of culture. I won't know what to with myself.@MalkSmash @jamestwgeddes That's a film I'd see.Sometimes, friends have to get their stories straight. http://t.co/u58lKQhYs5
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@DavidHughesTwit Just occurred to me that there must have been a Mr Baylock. An avenue I'm surprised the sequels never explored.@DavidHughesTwit Mrs OmenIf the new Jurassic World trailer ends with Jeff Goldblum saying to Sam Neill, "Um, Alan, we're, ah, home", I will lose all available shit.Uhh...spoiler alert? http://t.co/1V40cBj7sa
Retweeted by Chris HewittNew Star Wars Sith Lord revealed. http://t.co/lPJWkwkINi
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@Jaysus_Almighty At least one of those guys is out of my budget range.I'll be honest, I don't know what to do with it. I didn't think this through.Just bought a record store. #RSD15Where clouds come from http://t.co/oPCsHnDuzS
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@metroplexus No, sadly. And yes.@SleepyAnge None of them!Tough on shameless bumps, tough on the causes of shameless bumps."All my tweets are autobiographical," I told the ghost of John Lennon as we soared through the rings of Saturn.Hey I just met you And this is crazy But are you going to Eat that baby http://t.co/WiMMX9pjNJ
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt{At the art museum with my newborn son} baby: dada? Me: it's impressionist you stupid baby
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt*at mcdonald's* ME: and one of the happy meal toys CASHIER: for a little boy or girl? ME: *sweating* ME: ... ME: ... ME: yes of course it is
Retweeted by Chris HewittI wanted to get in on the whole defenestration craze but I missed my window PLEASE ENJOY THIS TWEET THAT I MADE
Retweeted by Chris HewittIn Britain, victims of crime pick out suspects in a police queue-up. Look, it's late, I'm tired, give me a break.@rodrigosalem I'm done, man. Need sleep!@benjaminbump Ha!Hope there's a scene where they have a mope-off. "My parents were killed at the opera." "At least you had parents to take you to the opera."@aliciamalone What's your favourite Ultron? What's the biggest Ultron you've ever seen? Have you ever Ultronned in public? Do you like fish?@BlakeX10 I don't think Batman has seen that film.@BrianWCollins I hope he gets half. That'll buy a whole load of Belgian ale.@ryanlambie But what a tweet to go out on.bat: come over superman: I can't bat: my parents are dead superman: No way! mine too. I'll be there in fiveQ: what does Batman like in his whiskey? A: Just ice. #HereAllWeek #TryTheBatveal #WhereYouFrom #Cleveland #MyWifesFromClevelandLooks like I picked the wrong week to release the teaser for my four-hour black-and-white stop-motion remake of My Dinner With Andre.@SittingOvations That would rock.@GeorgeSeabrook He'll be asleep by then. Spent.#political #satire #BremnerNigel Farage is going to love Batman V Superman, aka the heartwarming tale of a rich dude who beats the shit out of an immigrant.@jimstrummer77 I suspect ideological opposition. I also suspect the foul hand of Luthor. And maybe they don't like each other's hair.@GallagherMark @empiremagazine I deny everything and admit nothing."The first rule of Superfight Club is, you do not talk about Superfight Club..." http://t.co/MfrN9j03xh
@RossBishop Both those films are going to comfortably outgross Fast 7. But what that film has done is pretty astounding.@RossBishop Nope.Alright, now John Heard and Jack Coleman have turned up and it could be any one of those. Money's still on Sherilyn Fenn, though.'Furious 7' reached $1 billion in a record-breaking 17 days. In comparison, it took 'Avengers' and the final 'Harry Potter' 19 days each.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@pitythebackseat It might be Ted Danson.@TheSpoilist Yeah, but now John Heard's turned up and I don't know what to think.Sherilyn Fenn just turned up in this episode of CSI. So if you're wondering who the killer is, the answer is 'Sherilyn Fenn'.Makes sense, I suppose. http://t.co/ffTkGHX24C@ChrisHewitt R2D2: Bleep bloop bleep blip bleep?! Plane: R2, I'm your father!
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@nickmurftweets @biscuitahoy Typical director, putting the writer's name second.@firesuiteband I've booked my ticket.Oh my God. I want to go to there, and by there, I mean, 'wherever the hell this plane goes'. http://t.co/BBIJtWXRzb@biscuitahoy @nickmurftweets The first film's that long, but the second one will be significantly shorter by maybe one or two minutes.@biscuitahoy @nickmurftweets OK, now the scene is fifteen minutes long.@CarolineSiede And you can take that to the invisible bank!@biscuitahoy @nickmurftweets I've written the first scene. It's ten minutes long and it's two people arguing about how to pronounce 'Adobe'.Wow. @CarolineSiede, thanks so much for the kind words! On behalf of the pod, accept this invisible cheque for £10. http://t.co/aO3VOpQ6MvI don't watch television. https://t.co/WqxynIH5AU
Retweeted by Chris HewittI just did a Periscope Q&A. Questions included, 'how did you get on this submarine?' and 'can you please get off this submarine?'.@StreetBloke76 Already deleted the RT@DontTakeNoSith Because it's from Jedi.
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